Angelina Jolie Nude

Coming soon to an airport near to you is a new body scanner that can look beneath clothing, a “virtual strip search”. Apparently the photos it takes will be destroyed. Yeah right. How long will elapse between Angelina Jolie walking it through it for the first time, and the pictures appearing on the Internet? Less time than it’s taking me to write this post, I’ll wager.

Now, the idea is to thwart terrorists trying to smuggle weapons onto airplanes, however I can see an immediate way around this. Recruit female suicide bombers and pay unscrupulous doctors (and several doctors have already been convicted of terrorist activities) to carry out some breast augmentation using implants with dangerous substances. Once on board, a quick fondle, the substances mix and kaboom!

However, DON’T PANIC I also have the solution! You need to incorporate a mass-spectrometer into the scanner to measure the chemical composition of the implants (I guess the LAX scanner will be working overtime). In the meantime I urge the FAA (and in the UK, the CAA) to ban all women with breast implants from flying.

P.S. I don’t want the royalties from this idea paid in dollars, I’ll only accept gold or diamonds.

P.P.S. The title of this post is a shameless attempt to get more hits for this blog.

~ by @mmonyte on April 21, 2008.

7 Responses to “Angelina Jolie Nude”

  1. LOL you seriously are disturbed! Our conversation today didn’t say a word about old Angie. Sheesh… talk about taking artistic license!

  2. Well if I am disturbed, then as per our conversation I’d make an ideal president/prime minister/dictator.

  3. šŸ˜€ bet you’re getting incredible spam to! You know I thought this beautiful wonder was in operation already at Heathrow… apparently I look dodgy and so got a full body x-ray contorting my body in all sorts of ways while a crew watched the screen with grins… hmmm right now I definitely need a drink… its just clicked perhaps THAT is why everyone smiles at me!!!

    … or I am just blonde šŸ˜›

  4. Funny, I wonder why this post has generated a small blizzard of hits? šŸ™‚ Job Done.

  5. Angelina Jolie? She’s OK.

    Now, if it were Mark Harmon, I’d be interested …

  6. Ironically, sanityfound, my Akismet spam filter decided ,em>your comment was spam and impounded it! Most spam I get relates to posts about Dell or music and MP3’s. There seem to be legions of blogs constructed by robots that spider the net finding posts with key words in them then setting up links. I’ve let a couple pass through that I wasn’t sure about, one such comment may or may not have been posted by Billy Bob Thornton.

    On the subject of the scanners, the view screens are supposed to be in an entirely separate room to avoid unauthorised people accidentally viewing the screen, but hey, Heathrow is a third-world airport so you never know what happens there.

  7. Phew ok so maybe it was just the fact that I hadn’t slept in 36 hours! Yers apparently askimet believes me to be quite a prominent spammer… alas whether it is true I shall not say šŸ˜‰ Nah third world for me is when I was in Jeddah being felt up by a woman because they didn’t have scanners yet or South African airports where a plane takes 15 hours to travel a 2 hour journey because of ever present power failures mainly due to us supplying Mugabe’s mansion in Zimbabwe …

    Now lets talk about Angelina’s partner rather much more delightful šŸ˜€

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