It’s cricket Jim, but not as we know it.

Today I had been due to attend the fourth day of the test macth between England and Pakistan at the Oval. Unfortunately the chap I was going with had been taken ill, and it seemed unreasonable to go and have fun whilst he was feeling so poorly. There was also some doubt about the weather.

Now I am not sure I am gald I missed all the shenanigans or happy that I missed them. What happened was this: During the second period of play, the umpires thought that the ball had been unfairly altered by Pakistan who were fielding at the time. The ball was changed and play continued to tea. After tea, the umpires and the England bastmen took the field, but the pakistan batsmen did not. At which point the umpires invoked the Laws of the game (cricket has laws not rules) and decided that Pakistan had forefeited the game to England. They took the bails off, drew stumps and that semed to be that.

Then the blazerarterai got to work, trying to negotiate a soloution. Pakistan claimed that they had only wanted to make a short protest, and they returned to the field, but the umpires did not. As I write this there is no indication of whether there will be any play tomorrow. As Geoffrey Boycott pointed out, the umpires decision is final and they have decided the game is over, but I haven’t heard any fat ladies singing, all I want to know is, “Can I get my money back?” A ticket for the fourth day at the Oval costs £52, for the same day at the more prestigious Lords, £25. How can this be? And what is the point of paying to see a sporting contest when the result is decided in smoke-filled committee rooms, or worse, the law courts? Oh, and how on earth am I going to explain this to my american friends who call a grasshopper cricket?